If you've seen White Lies then you know all you need in life is a little "sticktoitivity" and you'll be writing white nationalist essays in no time! and representing a subculture that promotes hate and discrimination without even knowing it and after ward dont forget to just lax with meni/pedi sesh with your bff! <3
TAURUS
so you're horny and theres this "person" and you like this "person" now's your chance to cast the most sexual spell to get them to do you! just do it taur! go for it! come on what are you waiting for ?! what are you waiting for?!?! what are you waiting for?! what are you waiting for?!!!
ARIES
be honest this spring about your favorite look you know its to wear a puffed out shirt tucked into some high waisted shorts with a little hat! pshawww youre so daring when it comes to fashion right now but otherwise you look like shit like all year i wonder what the hell are you wearing is that your moms old 80's clothes? gross. i heard you farted!
PISCES
girl have you looked in the mirror lately cos i know youve been "out and about" but that hair is GREEEEASY and those clothes have some old taco sauce stains that you can't keep licking out cos it just looks like a light pink crust and its weird and kinda nasty. just here take a shower stop drinking alcohol for like 1 day and clean under your nails and as my mother always says "go wash you ass". oh and then go out with the family to catch up on old times when you had a moustache and wasnt addicted to cocaine.
AQUARIUS
you're all work and no lay suuuuucks youre too busy to get it on and its making you feel boreeeeed. and plus its prom and you have no date and thats embarassssssing! hello stop trying to be so awesome and just totes lax and scam with someone already! im waiting! !!!
CAPRICORN
i still hate capricorns cos theyre fucking too serious as fuck its like they always have to be sooo perfect like prezy obama dang its like how perfect are you? so perfect? and then youre breath smells like coffee and doodoo all the time cos youre always on the go to do professional shit and you need coffee and you think gum has too much sugar so get sugar and that shit doesnt work on THAT STANKY OF BREATH totes slow down . totes. youre probably single STILL!
SAGITTARIUS
absence makes the crush grow fonder.fuck that ho and get with a pro! stuntin is a habit sag and youre real good at that so dont get all stuck on some scrub just lax and totes get yours by laxing.
SCORPIO
get wild get a perm do anything anything you would never do it will be totes fun and laxing! mani pedi on the horizon! oh my gosh check out bff's there awesome youre so tween!
LIBRA
got money and you know take it out your pocket then show then throw totes at the mall go on a spree with your bffs and mani pedis! mani pedis! totes duuuude! i see doing it in your future with lets say a person a person that you wanna do it with maybe like your totes crush! <3 maybe i guess.
VIRGO
you aint got shit right now so its finally time to call your mom and dad and ask them for cash but dont go right out and ask butter them up tell them they look younger that you love them and you wanna hang out and then go in for the kill it will make them feel like you really care and you;ll also get everything you want in return it sucks to be poor but you have a spending problem and someone needs to spank that ass!
LEO
youre dyke get your hiking boots on and just go jogging or something youre all outdoorsy you prolly like sports so go to some sort of sporting event maybe even like goot ball or base racket or like something skiing the courts fuck yeah youre all sporty and you like this time of the year cos you can show off your body at that one gym on venice beach where that robot dancer guy and the guy that spray paints space shit hell yeah ! go on leo. you bitch!
CANCER
cancer schmancer thats my favorite book by fran drescher i never read it but the cover is fucking amazing it looks good and who would of guess what? as much as you pretend, you love to talk shit on everyone! and its cool because they talk shit on you too but as long as we all pretend its totes cool! girls night in! thats what you need because youre afraid to leave the house but shhh thats not why... i mean it totally is but shhhh.
